im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My pussy is not your playground.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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