We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
