I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
