I will die if light touches me.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You can't motorboat a personality
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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