he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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