What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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