People in love make me want to vomit
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize