Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
