Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize