i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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