So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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