I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You are the jesus of drinking
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
