I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
