Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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