I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
