Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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