Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize