Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
4 words: hood of his car
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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