I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
