I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
