I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
