two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize