Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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