What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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