Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
