so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
