This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize