my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
