im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
