I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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