Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
