even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is her dick bigger than yours?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
