On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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