Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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