Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
