so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
