8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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