if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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