New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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