I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
