I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
