Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
