This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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