do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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