I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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