i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My ass is underappreciated
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
