Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
