Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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