is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
