I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
