4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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