Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
