sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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