I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
