I love black thongs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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