writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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