do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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