butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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