Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
