You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
