their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
