I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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