gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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